the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Farmville is her only friend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
