I look better un-naked...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
