I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
