i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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