we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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