somebody snuck up and got me drunk
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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