I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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