can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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