It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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