All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
