If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
