Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
