Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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