apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
