I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
