First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
