Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
