Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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