I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I did not marry a roomba.
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