I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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