Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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