Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
