He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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