He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
