It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
they're like a gay fantastic four
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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