I got her a Nickelback box set.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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