I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
