Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
