brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
