she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When are your genitals available?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
