Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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