Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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