he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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