don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When did angry sex become our thing?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
