Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
