I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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