I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize