Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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