my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
