is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
