Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
