No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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