Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
