Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
