Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning

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(702): View more from Nevada

You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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(712): View more from Iowa

i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"

Fav 8 4779 1986
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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(631): View more from New York

I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING

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(317): View more from Indiana

there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'

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