ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
