I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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