i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
