the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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