doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
