a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
tell your sister to shave her snatch
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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