They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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