My nipple is on Facebook.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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