i think i scared a bird with my dick
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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