Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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