matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
