Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize