do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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