like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
