so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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