Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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