If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
