Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
