So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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