What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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