There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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