the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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