she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i drank out of a bidet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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