we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
