She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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