shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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