You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize