Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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