Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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